lunes, mayo 30, 2005

El psicólogo y yo

Psicólogo: Dígame sus problemas.
Joaquín Vicente: No me gusta el mundo.
Psicólogo: Algo en particular que no le guste.
Joaquín Vicente: Todo.

Se escucha el paso del tren por la avenida Ruíz Cortines.

Psicólogo: Hábleme de alguien en especial.
Joaquín Vicente: ¿Puedo hablar de mujeres?
Psicólogo: Por supuesto. Pero sólo de una en una.
Joaquín Vicente: Será difícil. Me gustan todas.

Por fin se deja de escuchar el maldito tren. No sé cómo carajos se le ocurre a este matasanos mental poner su consultorio junto al paso del tren.

Psicólogo: Alguna mujer debe gustarle más que otra.
Joaquín Vicente: No me gusta hacer menos a nadie. Apoyo la igualdad.
Psicólogo: Vaya, entonces usted no es un machista.
Joaquín Vicente: Machista su madre.

Y me levanto del sofá. Intento imaginar que si fuera psicólogo traería a mi mujer a este consultorio y tendríamos sexo a un lado de los libros de Freud y Jung, y todas esas cosas que se supone que leen y nunca aplican en sus pacientes. Sí, si yo fuera psicólogo tendría mucho sexo.

Psicólogo: ¿Quiere factura?
Joaquín Vicente: No, gracias. Quiero irme. Y si se puede, sin pagar.
Psicólogo: Eso no es decente.
Joaquín Vicente: Nunca dije que lo fuera. Así me gusta.


Blogger ReDShoeS said...

jejeje "eso no es decente" "pero a mi así me gusta" buena estuvo esa.

7:18 p. m.  
Blogger gabyrotten said...

Weeeeeeee!!!!! Joaquín Vicente me cae con madre, yo conviví con él durante un año, le ayudé con sus poemas, con sus problemas, y algunas veces nos íbamos a agarrar el pedo por las noches. Bastante divertido/seductor el tipo. Sí los psicolocos no practican a Jung. Eso es triste, oye Joaquín, le puedes decir a tu amigo Luisillo el cachorro goloso que me gustó mucho su texto que leyó en el Encuentro, el de los apuntes de un guionista porno???? es que él también me cae bien. Saludos Joaquín, algún día regresaremos aquellos días, aunque se sólo para recordar.

12:20 a. m.  
Blogger Óscar David López said...

Los psicólogos no estudian ni leen a Jung o a Frued porque éstos dos son psicoanálistas. Grave fallo del psicólogo que lo hace, pues abre campos para verdaderamente trabajar al sujeto. Ni pedo,
Óscar David.

7:39 p. m.  
Anonymous cintia said...

sería muy estimulante el estar en un consultorio, )de hecho los -psiquiatras- son muy eróticos, todo lo ven desde el punto de vista sexual), aqui el problema es del psicólogo este, Joaquín Vicente está muy bien.

2:00 p. m.  
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Blogger Sally said...

Mi psicólogo me tira la onda...y alguna vez pensé en decirle que sí.

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